Two Days Before the Wedding
by Dupain-Dang
Summary: On a crazy night that makes up Nino's bachelor party he calls Alya and leaves a long drunk message. He doesn't remember what he said but he doesn't want to take any chances. Now him and Adrien have to race against the clock and find Alya's phone before she does. Meanwhile Alya's ring and phone are missing, and she and Marinette have to find them both before the wedding.
1. Strip That Down

_**On a crazy night that makes up Nino's bachelor party he calls Alya and leaves a long drunk message. He doesn't remember what he said but he doesn't want to take any chances. Now him and Adrien have to race against the clock and find Alya's phone before she does. Meanwhile Alya's ring and phone are missing, and she and Marinette have to find them both before the wedding.**_

* * *

"I'm, I'm the b-best man, okay? Every-everybody listen to me, okay? No, Kim. I-I'm talking." Adrien was trying to get the attention of the mostly intoxicated crowd as he himself was wasted. One hand held the microphone while the other held a half empty, or half full if you will, bottle of beer. His arm with the beer was slung around Nino's shoulders as both swayed tipsily on the stage.

"Let my- Let my best friend talk, dude. He's talking. Let the b-beautiful man express himself." Adrien shushed Nino loudly, despite Nino's efforts to calm the crowd down for him.

"You see this guy over-" He burped. "Over here? That's my friend best. My-my best friend right there. And this guy's finally getting married in two fucking days!" He raised his bottle as everyone at the strip club party cheered, laughing and whooping for Nino. "About t-time this dumbass popped the question."

Nino laughed drunkenly and tried to make his way off the stage without breaking his neck, Adrien stayed on stage, with a diabolical smile on his face. "Now, this is the _last_ day for your freedom a-and Papa Adrien's got one- one hell of a surprise for you."

After his words about a dozen women in sexy outfits ranging from kittens to hot firefighters filed out in a line.

"There's more than one reason we rented out a strip club and now-now you're gonna choose a stripper to get a lap dance from."

People in the crowd whooped and cheered. Nino looked through the line of strippers, he was drawn to the one dressed as Spiderman or the one dressed as a fox but an evil smirk to match Adrien's appeared.

"I choose you, Pikachu!" He said, pointing at Adrien.

Adrien gasped. "But I-I'm not a stripper."

"I-I chose you now give me a lap dance!"

 _Lap dance! Lap dance! Lap dance!_

"W-what?" He laughed nervously. He was still more than a little tipsy but giving his best friend a lap dance hadn't been on his to-do list.

 _Lap dance! Lap dance! Lap dance!_

 _"What do we want?"_ ** _Lap dance!_** _"When do we want it?"_ _ **Now!**_

" _Fine!_ " Adrien whined, putting down his beer bottle and cracking his knuckles. "But no homo."

"Of course!" Nino gasped, as if those two words made everything all right. The night had already been filled with drinking games, competitions, dares, and they had even managed to steal the Bourgeois hotel statue. Not necessarily in that order.

Now the strip club was there's to screw around in for the last 30 minutes before it closed and marked the end of Nino's Bachelor party.

When Adrien finally took off his shirt, swinging it, many cheers and claps erupted. When he got a wolf whistle he smirked and winked. "P-Play a song I can thrust to!" He commanded tipsily.

A song started playing and Adrien started shaking what his father gave him.

 _When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly_

Adrien had muscles but he was mostly a lean man. His shirt was off already and didn't reveal a six pack. But his calfs under his Bermuda shorts were stunning. He started to dance as he walked down the stairs of the stage, moving his butt to the beat and making Nino laugh hysterically.

 _This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control_

By the time he reached Nino Nino's face was red and laughing still. Adrien got close, flexing and moving his pecs.

 _It's RedFoo with the big ass fro_

 _And like Bruce Lee I've got the claw._

At that point he ripped off his shorts and started to dance as close to Nino as possible without having to say _No homo_.

When the _Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah_ came on Adrien would turn around and twerk in Nino's lap. At one point Nino had taken out his wallet and taken out 4 dollars and making it rain on Adrien's behind.

When he finished Adrien panted a little, matching Nino's laughing. Nino's bachelor party participants cheered and whooped. Most of them were more than a little tipsy and only a few were part of Nino's years in high school.

"Thanks-Thanks to everyone for c-oming! I hope you all got designated driver cause this bachelor party is coming to an end!" Adrien announced, a goofy smile on his face. "We'll see you guys on the wedding." Some people waved goodbye while others came and congratulated Nino on the awesome party and getting married.

"Are you ready-ready to go?"

 ** _Miraculous Ladybug!_**

* * *

Nathanael couldn't have been more uncomfortable. He had just driven the beyond drunk Nino and Adrien home and was being thanked for not drinking and driving as he brought them both to Adrien's house since Nino and Alya's was taken for the Bachlerette party.

It wasn't that Nathanael didn't like getting thanked- nah he loved it. It was just that the soon to be groom and best man were getting a wee bit handsy.

Adrien cupped Nathanael's face as he whispered into his ear. "Thank you very-very much Nath. You're a g-gosh darn lifesaver." He was about to respond with a quick uncomfortable _no problem_ but Adrien quickly screeched. " ** _Not the candy!_** I cannot stress that enough."

Nino wasn't touching Nathanael's face, much to his gratefulness, but he was behind him and breathing down his neck. "W-words can not ex-express how- I-I can't told-tell you how thankful I am you're alive."

"I'm glad I'm alive too guys. Okay, how about sleep time now? It's already almost 3:30." Nathanael wanted to hurry up and get home to sleep. He didn't want to be that one guy but the only reason he wasn't drinking at the party was so he could get sleep early for work tomorrow. So his main priority was to get them to sleep or at least to bed so he could do the same.

"We can't go to sleep." Adrien whined, letting go of Nath's face and plopping down onto the couch. "I have to go to Nino's Bachelor party. It starts at 10 I'm almost late."

This was going to take awhile, the redhead artist sighed dejectedly. "C'mon guys. Do you want to take a shower and change or juj

st go to sleep in your clothes?"

Nino gasped hysterically and started scrambling away from Nathanael, using both his hands to cover both his tits. "You're just saying that because you want to rape us!"

Adrien started screaming and covering his eyes in sobs. " _I'm me not my body!_ "

Nathanael groaned and smacked his own forehead. This was going to take forever.

It took about 45 minutes to get both boys at least into the bedroom with their teeth brushed. He wasn't going to get them to change into pajamas because he was already in a hurry but they were insisting they didn't want to get raped until Nino was married.

After he left them to go to his own apartment Adrien and Nino snuck out of their room and went to the living room. To do what, you ask? To drink more, of course.

"I-I can't beliefs you're get-tin married in two days! I'm still a single Pringle." Adrien said, slurring. The two had already finished off a bottle of beer and were now as drunk as before.

"Have you ever thinked about that? Y-you know that saying. _Single as a Pringle_." Nino was getting all philosophical as he rested upside down on the couch. "Pringles come in a can all t-together, s-so you can't be _single as a pringle_ because they aren't single ladies."

" _Wow_." Adrien said dreamily. "You're the next Ghandi."

He got up and bowed dramatically, then plopped back onto the couch. The two were quiet for awhile, and a comfortable silence went through the two of them.

"Do you think I'm going to die alone?" Adrien muttered under his breath, obviously not wanting to say it.

"Dude. You're a model, w-ho's going to inherit the biggest fashion company in Paris. And you're hot too. I think you'll manage man." He patted Adrien's head.

"No, but that's the only reason. I want someone to like me. What if I never find someone who does?"

This wasn't the right conversation to have when tipsy but Nino knew Adrien needed it.

"Dude! Don't worry about it. You'll find love someday." Nino's head buzzed, wanting him to just blurt out the secret he was keeping.

"But _when_ and _who_? And will she leave me and our kid? Will she cheat on me? Will she be okay with paparazzi?" He was now standing up and pacing the floor, practically ripping his hair out in worry. Asking a ton of questions about his future wife, if he ever finds her that is.

Nino giggled drunkenly and spun his hat on his index finger. "You're thinking too much. You already have a girl who likes you for you."

"I do?" He stopped abruptly, staring Nino down.

"You seriously don't know? Marinette's been in love with chu since high school. You're lucky you're hot man cause you'd have nothing else going for you." He laughed at the last part before he realized what he did. "Wait, um- I meant a girl. I just- I meant a random female that's _not_ Marinette." He tried to fix his mistake before Adrien thought about it.

"Marinette can't like me! S-she's too... good! She deserves like a guy that can worship her, l-like protect her, a-and you know like treat her like she's the only girl in the world. Like the song! I'm not good enough for her- she deserves someone _so_ much better!"

"Why not you?"

He was quiet as he thought to himself. She liked him. That would explain all the stuttering and the redness around him. He swallowed and sunk into the chair. Then he thought about dating Marinette. She was funny and adorable when she wasn't talking to him so if they got over that then he could ask her out.

"You okay, bro?"

"I'm not gonna be single anymore!" He had a drunk smile on his face and Nino honestly doubted he'd remember the conversation in the morning.

"Being single isn't that bad, you know. You can do your own thing and you can go to sleep without having to snuggle. And you don't have to worry about what she's doing or when she's chasing a dangerous story. You don't have to get jealous when she's talking to someone else or when someone else is talking to her." Adrien had long since stopped listening and made himself comfortable in the chair but Nino still continued.

"You don't have to try to be romantic and on Valentine's Day you don't have to rack your brain for something romantic to do. You don't have to remember her birthday or your anniversary of your first kiss and dumb stuff like that. Being single is _so_ much better." He glanced over at Adrien who was now snoring.

Nino sighed and ran a few fingers through his hair. He was getting married. Married. In two days. What was he thinking! Marriage! He wasn't even 25 yet. This freakout was last minute considering Adrien had been prepared for it for the whole party. But his prepared speech in case of this event would mean nothing since Adrien was now sleeping and couldn't talk Nino out of what he was about to do.

Nino pulled out his phone and clicked Alya's contact.

 ** _Miraculous Ladybug!_**

* * *

 ** _Am so excited to write this. I have big ideas. So the next chapter is either going to be the next morning for Nino OR the night for Alya. You guys can choose. Till next time. Dupain-Dang OUT!_**


	2. Just a Message

_**Happy New Year's!**_

- **DupainDang!**

 **I am VERY surprised by the amount of positive things you guys had to say about the updates to Jealousy Killed the Chat and to Miraculous Chat Noir. I wanted to thank you guys for supporting me last year even though I suck at uploading. Honestly I was on hiatus for 4 months and you guys were cool with it. So I want to tell you guys this:**

 _ **New Year, New Stories.**_

 **I have so many story ideas- Miraculous Chat Noir was just the beginning. And unfortunately Miraculous Chat Noir will take a long time to upload because it's based on the episodes. I use a combination of the episode itself, my imagination and bottomless creativity, and the transcript, and as you can see every chapter will be based on an episode. The last one was 12k. 12k is a lot of words for me, especially when I'm only used to writing 4k, 5k at the most . Next Miraculous Chat Noir chap will be out by the end of January hOpEfUlLy!**

 **I also have some bad news. Jealousy Killed the Chat probably has one more chapter. Two at the most, which means I'll need a new, fast chapter story. Now I have a few ideas I'd like you guys to choose from.**

Lost and Found: Adrien meets the perfect girl at a coffee shop, but loses her number. He was more than sure she was his soulmate. He has to find her while only knowing small facts about her: like the fact she LOVES designing and works at a bakery.

Catsanova: An infamous ladies' man named Adrien Agreste is known for two things: wearing black and getting... let's say "cat". So his nickname Chat Noir is pretty fitting. But when he meets a pretty girl in spots at the bar he's determined to make her fall in love with him-even though he himself might trip in the process.

Catfee for One: Adrien falls for his father's intern and begins to pursue her, despite her not dating co-workers. Meanwhile a blonde flirt orders a different beverage everyday, each time using a cat pun. She gives him the nickname Black Cat (Chat Noir) because not only does he like his catfee hot but he has the worst luck when it comes to hot beverages.

Switched at Fifth: Don't have a really good summary for this one but just know Adrien and Marinette switch bodies every Monday and Friday. Don't ask why those days I just like them lol.

The Bee-est Babysitter: Adrien and Marinette are now 25 with 1 kid, so obviously that leaves no space for relaxation or vacations of any kind. At least that's until Alya tells them about the 5-Day Ladybug and Chat Noir convention in London that they apparently have to go to, being the two superheroes. Fortunately they get a sitter. Unfortunately the sitter cancels last second and now Adrien and Marinette can't get their much needed break. That is until a certain rich girl decides to bless the child with their amazing Aunt Chloe, which obviously leads to problems.

 _ **Vote maximum 2 votes and I'll do whatever story has the most after JKTC is over. Again happy New Year's from Dupaindang! Please vote!**_

 ** _Also sorry if you were expecting a real chapter! My B_**

 ** _-DUPAINDANG OUT_**


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